For twenty years of my marriage, I didn’t understand what it meant to be fully engaged and helpful at home. Ultimately, I blame myself and my blindness to my own sin for this. I certainly would have repented much earlier if I wouldn’t have remained in ignorance. But I also grew up in a home where my Dad basically spent all of his energy on working outside of the house, and then came home, where my Mom spent most to all of her energy on taking care of the house- cleaning, tidying up, washing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping, and the like. There were seasons where my Mom worked also, which basically meant that she would work all morning and afternoon, then come home and clean and keep up the house all evening.
And I can genuinely say that for the last 20 years my wife Sarah and I have had a great marriage. We love one another. We enjoy one another. I have always helped with the kids, and poured relationally into my wife and daughters. I have changed plenty of diapers. I have spent significant time with my daughters solo while Sarah has worked jobs, or even just to give Sarah a break from “mothering”. And occasionally I’ve helped with chores at home, but it wasn’t enough to ease the burden on her. I remember how against my nature it would feel to try and help with dishes and laundry, I was genuinely fighting something within myself and trying to unlearn a behavior that was ingrained in me every time I would engage in attempting to be helpful.
But then, two weeks ago, it finally clicked. I finally realized that when I come home I don’t have to shut myself off. I can stay engaged. I’ve been doing more dishes, cleaning more floors, and washing and drying more loads of laundry than ever, as well as putting my whole self into my work day, into connecting with my kids, and into keeping up with yard work. I’m not perfect at it but it has dramatically shifted the atmosphere in our home, and improved my wife and I’s relationship! This is a work of the Holy Spirit sanctifying me in a very practical area of my life, and I praise Him for the heart and mind shift! Believe me, my wife praises Him too!
And this doesn’t mean that I don’t make sure to rest and take time for refreshment and recuperation! It just means that I don’t overdo indulging in refreshment and recuperation to the detriment of my wife’s sanity any longer! 😁
Peter didn’t fully get who Jesus was during this transfiguration, but by the time he wrote 2 Peter, he sure did! He loved Jesus during this transfiguration, but didn’t fully live for Jesus and fully get Jesus yet! He did the dishes and laundry for Jesus against His will at this point. At one point it was gonna click.
At one point it’s gonna click for you who He is! If you belong to Him and you know Him and are destined to be His, you can bet your life that He’s gonna reveal Himself to you! And one day all the things that you desperately tried to do against your will for Him will start just happening naturally. You’ll desire to read scripture daily, pray regularly, be in intentional discipleship with people regularly, gather with God’s people weekly, intentionally, and regularly, and even defending the same in your schedule because it’s so important and life giving to you! You’ll desire to be on mission to those outside the Church, you’ll desire to share the gospel with people who don’t follow Jesus.
Some of these things feel like religious chores to some of you, and that’s because the Holy Spirit hasn’t produced a change in you from Himself yet. He will do it! When that change happens, your whole mentality and heart posture towards the things of God is gonna change! I’m telling you, you will delight in them more than anything, and they will bring you more delight than anything, because He is more delightful than anything on this earth!
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