If Jesus would have given the 2024 American Equivalent of the parable of the Good Samaritan to a mainstream American evangelical, He would have been talking to the equivalent of a conservative bible scholar, and might have said;
30 Jesus took up the question and said, “A man was in the bible belt driving down from Chattanooga, TN to Baton Rouge, LA and fell into the hands of robbers at a gas station stop. They stripped him, beat him up, and fled, leaving him half dead in the middle of the night. 31 A well-known Megachurch leader happened to be stopping at that same gas station for gas the next morning. When he saw him, he quickly filled up his tank of gas, got in his car, and sped off. 32 In the same way, a well known theologian, when he arrived at the place and saw him, quickly filled up his tank of gas, got in his car, and sped off. 33 But a Democrat, Unitarian Universalist, LGBTQ affirming transgender woman transitioning to be a man also stopped for gas, and when he saw the man, he had compassion. 34 He went over to him, popped out his personal first aid kit, and bandaged his wounds, cleaning them, putting on neosporin, band-aids, and bandages. Then he picked him up, and put him in his own car, brought him to a nearby hospital, had him checked in, and stuck around to make sure he was ok. 35 He even asked the hospital if the man had insurance to cover his medical expenses, and the hospital said no, so the man gave them his credit card info and asked them to charge his card with whatever medical expenses the man incurred.’ 36 “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” 37 “The one who showed mercy to him,” he said. Then Jesus told him, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10:25-37- the 2024 Remix)
Some of you are really annoyed by this 2024 remix of the parable of the Good Samaritan, and some of you giggle. You’re like, “yea Ben! You tell em!!! You tell those conservative evangelicals how it is! Amen!”
But what you need to realize is that this person left half dead in this parable represents whoever you hate the most, are afraid of the most, are annoyed by the most, and are the most adverse to! So nobody gets a free pass here! I could totally flip this whole thing around for you. In fact, why don’t we go ahead and do that? Let’s do an “inverse remix” of the Good Samaritan parable!
Now let’s imagine Jesus would be telling this one to a progressive, mainline pastor.
30 Jesus took up the question and said, “A gay man was in the Northwest US driving down from Portland, OR to San Franscisco, CA and fell into the hands of robbers at a gas station stop. They stripped him, beat him up, and fled, leaving him half dead in the middle of the night. 31 A well-known democrat senator happened to be stopping at that same gas station for gas the next morning. When she saw him, she quickly filled up her tank of gas, got in her car, and sped off. 32 In the same way, a well known gay rights activist, when he arrived at the place and saw him, quickly filled up his tank of gas, got in his car, and sped off. 33 But a Republican, Fundamentalist, male white pastor also stopped for gas, and when he saw the man, he had compassion. 34 He went over to him, popped out his personal first aid kit, and bandaged his wounds, cleaning them, putting on neosporin, band-aids, and bandages. Then he picked him up, and put him in his own car, brought him to a nearby hospital, had him checked in, and stuck around to make sure he was ok. 35 He even asked the hospital if the man had insurance to cover his medical expenses, and the hospital said no, so the man gave them his credit card info and asked them to charge his card with whatever medical expenses the man incurred.’ 36 “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” 37 “The one who showed mercy to him,” he said. Then Jesus told him, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10:25-37- the 2024 Inverse Remix)
The Lord is sick and tired of Christians who pick and choose who they love and don’t love.
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